This first one is so funny and true on how differently men and women think. A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful, replies the wife. Her husband retorts: So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the> price. On the PA system: Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down. I love this next one. In a trial, a southern small-town prosecutor attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly women to the stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs Jones, do you know me? She responded, why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think your a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney? She again replied, why yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley Since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He cant build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him. The defence attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quite voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!" Ok I will do more as I get them.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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2 comments:
Those are really funny Holli! I love the pictures of your kids and their funny faces. Taylor is getting so big. Is that fur already on his upper lip?! I have to say I love your dog that is so great. What a good dog she just sat there and waited for help. Love ya!!!
Sammy is too funny! I finally talked BJ in getting a dog, so we are looking! I love that ball thing that taylor turned into a hat. Did carson fall into the cake batter or what?? thats funny! Well your going to have a nice surprise next time you come to my house. I finally decorated!!!! It looks so good in my living room now, more homey! Are you siked for next weekend??
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